ITS
NOT ME IT’S HIM!
Translated from the cover of the DVD:
An
inept burglar named Vincent Papineau makes off with a worthless
painting during a routine break-in in Montreal. After selling it
for a pittance, he learns that there’s $250,000 hidden in the frame,
and that it belongs to one Carlo, head of the Marseille mafia. The
situation quickly takes a most unexpected turn when it transpires
that the name Carlo is short for … Carlotta Luciani, a specialist
in vendettas, having survived more than one!
As
luck would have it Vincent, disguised as a priest to escape from his
pursuers, is noticed by two policemen who mistake him for Claude
Lorain, a colleague on the force, whom everyone thinks is on
holiday. Brought in unwillingly to the local station, Vincent has
no choice but to become a policeman!
Aware
that he’ll be unmasked when the real Claude Lorain, whose identity
he has assumed, returns, Vincent takes the opportunity to concoct an
incredible plan with his friend Dieudonné.
Disclaimer:
There’s a joke thread running throughout this film based on how
nobody can understand each other’s accents. There’s Quebecois of
course, Marius has thick Marseillaise, Dieudonné speaks Creole,
Green has an English accent, and apparently there’s Parisian and
Belgian as well. So this is a really, really difficult script to
follow. Below is a detailed account of the action and enough
dialogue to help you understand some of the finer (hah!) nuances of
the plot. There are probably lots of errors, so if anyone spots
anything really glaring, please let us know.
Credits:
Babe/Lorraine
Mary DeFranzo
Chantal Gagnon
Bob Evans
(who gave his mom the French/English dictionary last Christmas)
Editor: viv
Enjoy
…….
Over
the opening credits, Vincent Papineau (Roy), a shaggy-haired,
scruffy, bearded petty thief, is driving to a robbery in Bob’s
furniture van. He’s so inept, Bob has written detailed instructions
for him on the back of a flyer for his furniture business – “put on
mask, put on gloves, get out of the car, go up to the house, find a
way in (use your imagination), take whatever you can, get out of
there. (signed) Bob”
Stealthily (not!) exploding the security lights and smashing the
glass front door to smithereens, Vincent finds he has broken into an
empty house. He calls Bob to tell him there’s nothing in the house
except a box containing cutlery, light bulbs etc. Bob wants to know
how much they’re worth and Vincent gets annoyed. On his way out of
the house with the box he spots a painting of a clown, and picks
that up too. On the floor he has left his instructions with Bob’s
contact details on the reverse.
Outside his house, Vincent is holding a garage sale of bric-a-brac,
including the spoils from the robbery. A passer-by beats him down
to $2 for the clown painting. Vincent tells a woman inspecting a
pair of nylons that they’ve only been worn once (his stocking mask,
of course!). A man touches everything and shakes light bulbs.
Vincent says, “Stop that, they aren’t maracas”.
Vincent’s friend Dieudonné (Luck Mervil) drops by and mentions that
Bob has been castrated by the mafia from Marseilles. “Marseilles
Street?” asks Vincent. No, Marseilles in France. Mafia boss Carlo
is mad because of the disappearance of a painting – worthless but
with “two hundred fifty thousand beautiful dollars” stashed in the
frame. Vincent’s putting two and two together. As Dieudonné drives
away he asks him what the painting was of. A clown.
Vincent falls on his knees in the street and says, “It isn’t true”
and asks God, “Why me? I’m just a small-time crook trying to make
an honest living.”
Vincent goes back inside his house and finds
“Carlo” aka Carlotta (Anémone) and her crazy side-kick, Marius
(Michel Muller), who threatens Vince with a BIG knife. Pals call
him Shish-kebab, and he demonstrates his knife-throwing skills on
Vincent. Carlotta wants to know where the painting is. Vincent
asks how they found him, and she produces Bob’s instructions. Marius
gives Vincent a small paper bag as a souvenir – it contains Bob’s
testicles. Vincent says he sold the painting in a garage sale and
has to explain to them what that is. Marius threatens to cut him so
he pretends
there’s cash hidden in a hatbox on the top
shelf, but when their backs are turned Vincent escapes and makes off
down a side alley.
With
the thugs in hot pursuit he dives into a church, taking refuge in
the vestry at the back. While he’s praying to God to save him he
notices a priest’s cassock and hair-clippers, so when Carlotta and
Marius pounce they discover an unrecognisable, clean-shaven priest
instead. Making their excuses, Carlotta and Marius drive off.
Vincent sneaks out of the church but is stopped by a little man
(Ghyslain Tremblay) who had been praying in the church, and who was
wanting to confess. He tries to get away but the man tells him he’s
got troubles. Vincent demands the man’s car keys, but when he
refuses to hand them over he grabs them and they are struggling
violently as a police car draws up. The police order them to lean
against the car to be frisked and they both obey. Joe, one of the
policemen, identifies Vincent as ‘Claude’ and tells him it’s OK.
Meanwhile the other cop, Fabien, is restraining the man who
protests, “I didn’t do anything. It’s the priest.” The cops,
however, are convinced that ‘the priest’ is their colleague Claude,
and Vincent quickly goes into cop mode and sends the little man on
his away without charging him.
The
cops ask him if he is working undercover because of his priest’s
robes. They thought he was on holiday in Cuba, but he says he’s
come back. They insist on giving Vincent a ride to headquarters,
where he’s greeted by everyone, especially the station chief. The
chief has something to show him – a framed photograph of his former
partner, Yves, who’d been shot dead before Claude went on leave, and
whose killers have still not been caught. The chief asks ‘Claude’ if
he could come back to work straight away as he’s short staffed.
‘Claude’ agrees and the chief hands him a pistol. Then he asks
Fabien to give ‘Claude’ a ride home. As the impostor leaves the
station, the chief proudly states, “That’s a real cop.”
Fabien drops him off at his apartment, but wants to use the toilet.
‘Claude’ of course has no key so he wings it by dialling the
caretaker to let him in and to give him a spare key. ‘Claude’
discovers what a smart apartment he’s inherited, and from a photo of
the real Claude just how close the resemblance is. He makes himself
at home, trying on Claude’s clothes and inviting Dieudonné over.
Dieudonné maintains that God in his wisdom has smiled on Vincent and
has given him an opportunity to stay in disguise – otherwise Marius
will do what he did to Bob. “Snip, snip”.
By
this time Carlotta and Marius have moved into the empty house. They
are conferring with Inspector Green (Alan Shearman), who is a bent
cop. Their business dealings have had some setbacks, what with
Green having had to ‘take care of’ Yves and the painting with the
money going missing. However, Green has a stash of $4 million worth
of confiscated drugs in the evidence room at the police station
which he agrees to sell to the Mafia for $0.5 million.
Vincent (as Claude) turns up at the station and tells the chief he’s
ready to go back to work. The chief broaches what is obviously a
delicate subject, about having to pair him with Robelot, but
‘Claude’ doesn’t appear to mind. The chief says he likes his new
attitude. When Robelot is called over for a formal introduction, it
turns out she is a woman, Lucy (Lucie Laurier). The new Claude is
respectful and kisses her on both cheeks, much to everyone’s
surprise, as the real Claude has a reputation as a chauvinist. On
leaving the station she expresses her sympathy for his former
partner, and ask why he agreed to work with her given his attitude
towards women in the force. He says that was before he knew her,
but since he had got to know her it was no problem at all.
As
they head for the squad car he gets into the back out of habit. She
says, “What are you doing there?” Vincent realises his gaff with a
quiet “Shit!” under his breath, and struggles to open the locked
door. When she has to go round to open it for him he laughs it off
explaining he’s been working too hard. As she drives, Lucy checks
out his marital status with a lot of roundabout questions.
Back
at the house Carlotta and Marius are buying weapons from a very camp
arms dealer (Benoît Brière). For Carlotta he has a chic little
number that goes with the ashtrays in her living room – Mata Hari
had one like it. For Marius he has a wonderful selection of knives
– cue double entendres about penetrating flesh etc. ….
Vincent and Dieudonné are having a beer outside Claude’s apartment,
where Vincent is having another garage sale of most of Claude’s
furniture. They tell the caretaker that he’s getting rid of the
stuff because he wants a Zen look. Dieudonné’s latest idea is to
use Claude’s badge as a passport to extorting protection money from
businesses on his beat, starting right away.
In
uniform, Vincent goes into a pawn shop to start collecting. The
shopkeeper tells him that Inspector Green collects the protection
money every month, but Vincent tells him that he’s his new protector
now. The shopkeeper hands over $500, but the new price is now
$1,000. Vincent promises him ‘satisfaction guaranteed’. Vincent
continues to shake down a variety of entrepreneurs – a squeegee punk
washing windscreens, a masseuse.
Later, back at the Carlotta’s house, various low-lives, a dealer, a
moneylender, a pimp and a massage parlour owner are complaining
about the escalation in the protection money. Green tells them that
it’s all the doing of Claude Lorain, one of the most honest cops on
the force. Carlotta makes it very clear to Green that he has to do
something about it.
‘Claude’ and Inspector Green meet in the station men’s room, where
Green first of all congratulates him on joining the ranks of the
dirty cops, but warns him to keep out of his territory. Green
mentions that Yves didn’t know when to keep quiet. His final threat
about crushing his balls is interrupted by Lucy coming in to look
for her partner to go out on patrol.
In
the squad car they get a call about a petty thief using a skate
board for a getaway. As the crook escapes down an alley, ‘Claude’
reluctantly follows him while Lucy drives off to block the other
end. After a chase, ‘Claude’ eventually fells the thief with a
well-aimed puck using a hockey stick borrowed from kids playing in
the alley. He offers to do a deal, but just as the thief is handing
over the money, Lucy drives up and ‘Claude’ has to pretend the crook
was trying to bribe him. They arrest the guy and take him to the
station. Lucy asks ‘Claude’ to process the prisoner, but of course
he doesn’t know how, and has to pretend to blow his top at the
crook <<for the attempted bribery??>> until he claims police
brutality. Lucy calms ‘Claude’ down and takes over the job. The
chief has a quiet word with Lucy saying that Claude has changed
since Yves’ death and that they should be on the lookout for odd
behaviour. It’s at that moment that Vincent, struggling to draw his
stuck gun, shouts, “Stop, police” at the mirror.
Back
in Claude’s now empty apartment, Vincent and Dieudonné are counting
the protection money when there’s a knock on the door. A gorgeous
female (Annie Dufresne) is standing there, and as she backs Vincent
inside the apartment she gives him a passionate kiss, saying,
“That’s my way of apologising.” He returns an even more passionate
one as his way of saying he forgives her. So it’s his girlfriend.
As they continue getting more carried away, she notices all his
stuff is gone. He says he’s given it all away. Just as she’s about
to get really intimate, he zips himself up and excuses himself to go
next door to where Dieudonné is hiding. Vincent thinks that she’ll
notice if he’s physically different from Claude. Dieudonné tells him
to put the lights out. But Vincent’s worried that Claude might be
hung like a horse. Dieudonné offers to stand in for him. Vincent
doesn’t think that’s helpful. However, Vincent goes back and tells
the girl that he’s just been on the phone to his commander, and he
has to go back to work as there’s an emergency. She accuses him of
putting his work first and he says that that’s the way police work
is. She says she knows, because she’s a policewoman. So the
encounter ends with a row as she flounces out.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Claude’s sister (Caroline Néron) has arrived
and is chatting with the caretaker. She has come to visit Claude to
help him through the trauma of his partner’s death. She bursts into
the apartment and hugs him with great affection. She notices he’s
changed the place. “Just a bit”, he says. She offers her sympathy,
but then says he’s looking really good, and that he’s lost weight.
She admires his abs and he admires hers. He excuses himself and goes
to talk to Dieudonné again. He’s finding it hard to pass this one
up. Dieudonné tells him to think of the cash and particularly what
Marius will do to him – snip, snip. Vincent re-enters the room only
to see her hips swaying in time to her music. He grabs her and
bites that swaying rear. She spins around and yells,“What the
“f--k” are you doing trying to jump your own sister? You need help,
Claude. You really need help ” She slams out of the apartment.
Dieudonné accuses him of trying to make out with his own sister.
Vincent yells back, “ She’s not MY sister, she’s HIS sister.”
Back in the squad car Vincent asks Lucy for a
date. She tells him she doesn’t usually date colleagues. A call
comes in that there’s a jumper at the top of a big church. ‘Claude’
doesn’t know the code for an attempted suicide. She sends ‘Claude’
up to stop the man and says she’ll handle the crowd. Vincent climbs
to the tower where the man is. The man says, “It’s you again. Why
don’t you leave me alone?” Vincent sees it’s the same guy from the
church and tells him, “Well, we got the call.” The man tells
Vincent all his troubles. “I lost my home, my wife left me for a
younger man.” “No kidding,” says Vincent disgustedly. “All I have
is in my wallet,” the man says. “How much,” asks Vincent?” “$300”
is the reply. “Let me hold it for you. Where do you live?”
Vincent says. The man starts to tell him, but stops, “Why do you
want to know?” “Since you’re jumping, I’ll see that your family gets
it.” He gets a big “NO”. People down below are yelling, “Jump,
jump, jump,” but the man has turned a corner. “I have friends and
family. Lots of people like me. Lots of people need me.” He
suddenly realizes that fact and shakes hands and thanks Vincent for
saving him and making him see he IS needed. Then he loses his
footing and slips over the edge. Vincent grabs his wrist and
strains to bring him back up. The man says, “Don’t let go.” Vincent
yells, “Its your fault, goddammit.”
The man says, “Don’t swear. What’s
your name?” Vincent asks, “Why?” The man says, “I want to tell God
who saved me.” “Vincent - Vincent Papineau,” he replies. With a
huge struggle Vincent pulls him back onto the ledge where they lie
recovering just as Lucy reaches the tower. “Thank you, Vincent,” he
says.
At
the precinct, the cops all congratulate ‘Claude’ for saving the
man. Joe the cop comes in with a crook and slams a bag of cash on
the counter, telling ‘Claude’ there’s five thousand bucks in it.
The chief calls to Joe to get to the hospital as his wife is in
labour, and he rushes off leaving the bag unattended. Vincent eyes
the bag longingly and is considering liberating some of the contents
when Lucy comes up and says, “He called you Vincent. ” “Yes, he
wanted to say a prayer of thanks to St. Vincent”, he replies. She
asks him out for a drink and he accepts. As she goes off to change,
the chief takes the money bag to put it up.
Later, in a bar, ‘Claude’ and Lucy are having that drink. He asks
her why she’s a cop. She tells him it’s obvious - all her family is
in the police department. Her father and brother were and she
wanted to be one too. He starts to ask if she couldn’t be a
secretary and she jumps down his throat saying that men like him
don’t change. She asks him why he became one. He tells her it’s a
long story and takes out a torn picture of his mom with him as a
child on her knee. The family had split up and he had a tough
upbringing. He realised he had the choice of a life of crime like
all his friends, or << long pause while he gets into unfamiliar
territory >> to go straight. Lucy says, “I’m glad you made the
right choice.” She gives him back his mom’s photo. “Beautiful, isn’t
she?” he says.
In
the squad car, ‘Claude’ spots a drug dealer he knows talking to some
young kids. He tells Lucy to stop the car and starts chasing the
dealer, Asselin (Jean Frenette) over the rooftops. Asselin pulls a
gun and starts shooting. Pinned behind a wall under fire, ‘Claude’
is regretting having started this, reminds himself that he’s not a
policeman and starts to beat a retreat. Then he spots a tab of
drugs that Asselin has dropped, and it makes him angry enough to go
after him again. He’s pretty hopeless though, gets out-manoeuvred,
drops his gun, and ends up cowering in a corner with Asselin
standing over him. Just as he’s about to shoot, Lucy appears from
behind with her gun trained on him and yells, “Don’t move. I said
don‘t move.” As he spins round she shoots and the guy
falls. She runs up to them and asks Vincent if he’s dead. The
crook says, “No, I’m not dead.” In the aftermath she’s upset, never
having had to shoot anyone before. Vincent tells her, “What can I
say, you saved my life. Are you okay?” he asks. Lucy says, “I’m
shaking.” He offers to take her home.
They are at her apartment and he’s admiring
her orchids. She says, “I’ve been growing them as a hobby. They sit
together. She says, “I have to apologise. You aren’t the person
I judged you to be.” Vincent says,
“I’m just pleased to be with you”. She gives him a hug … which
leads to a kiss … which leads to some frantic ‘Velcro’ removal.
Carlotta and Marius are back with their mafia
cronies, who are placing bets while Marius does a knife-throwing act
on Inspector Green, whom they reckon is in cahoots with Claude.
After a few well placed knives, one of which lifts his wig, he
agrees go back and speak to him.
Lying
in bed, the couple are disturbed by a call from Dieudonné. He has
the solution to all Vincent’s problems. Vincent tells Lucy he has
to go out right away. There’s late news and its real hot. Lucy
lays in bed reliving her night with ‘Claude’ when spots his wallet
with the name Vincent Papineau written in it.
Dieudonné meets Vincent outside the station and isn’t very happy
about the way Vincent is enjoying playing the cop role, asking after
Joe’s new baby etc.. Vincent is exasperated, “You told me you had
something important to tell me.” Dieudonné explains that Carlotta
has had half million dollars sent from Marseilles to buy the drug
stash. “We’re going to steal it.” Vincent asks, “The dope?” “No,
the cash.” The deal is to take place in an hour. Dieudonné asks
Vincent if he’s with him.
Vincent, as ‘Claude’, pulls Carlotta’s
convertible to the curb and makes Marius get out of the car. He
gives him a sobriety test and cheats.
Shame on Vince.
He has
Marius move away from their car, then has Carlotta join her pal and
tells her to assume the position too, so they will both be facing
away from their car. While they are busy being frisked Dieudonné
switches the briefcase with the money and signals Vincent who tells
Carlotta and Marius they are free to go. He gives Marius back his
huge knife and tells him, “Don’t hurt anyone with it.” Marius tells
Carlotta he looks familiar.
Back
at the station Lucy has pulled Vincent Papineau’s police record on
the computer and alters the photo to remove the beard and long hair,
only to discover that ‘Claude’ really is Vincent. She tells the
chief. In the meantime, Claude returns from vacation to find his
apartment gutted.
Inspector Green is sitting on a park bench waiting to do the
exchange. When he opens Carlotta’s case it contains X-rated
magazines. They figure out the switch must have happened when they
were stopped by a police car. Green asks for the serial number of
the vehicle and realises it was Claude’s. A huge argument ensues
with Carlotta telling Green he has one last chance to sort out
Claude.
Green
then drives to Claude’s apartment just as he is leaving, and fires
several shots at him as he ducks behind a parked car. Claude yells,
“You’re crazy,” as he drives off. Claude then takes a cab to the
station, where he is of course mistaken for Vincent Papineau,
surrounded by several cops and thrown into a cell. Claude protests
he’s the real Claude, the policeman, and shouts to the departing
cops, “If this is a joke, it’s not funny.” He turns round to find
he’s sharing a cell with two hardened criminals who are very
interested to know he’s a policeman ….
Dieudonné and Vince split the money 50:50 - $250,000 each.
Dieudonné plans to head for Miami. Vince isn’t as excited about it
, and his pal guesses he’s got woman problems.
At
the station Fabien tells the chief that they’ve made a mistake and
it is the real Claude after all. Claude, nursing his bruises after
his beating in the cell, is silently furious. The chief apologizes
and says, “These things happen.”
Claude goes home and finds Carlotta and Marius in his apartment,
determined to recover their money from him. Claude thinks everybody
has gone nuts. Vincent comes to the front door but stops when he
hears Carlotta threaten Claude, now tied to a chair, if he doesn’t
hand over the cash. So Vincent makes an anonymous call to Claude’s
phone from the squad car and tells Carlotta to let Claude go because
he has the cash. She says, “Bring it here”. Vincent says he only
has half of it, and he’ll get the rest later. She says that she
wants the whole lot within an hour. Carlotta asks Claude who the
caller was, and he says he hasn’t the faintest idea.
Vincent rushes off to intercept Dieudonné just as he’s getting home.
“What’s up?” Vincent tells him there’s a problem. Carlotta will do
away with the real Claude if they don’t get all their money back.
Dieudonné says, “That’s not our problem”. Vincent says, “Well its
mine. We’re not going to let him die just like that. This week,
while I was a cop, for the first time in my life, everyone was
respected me and I’ve changed.” Dieudonné says, “When Marius and
Carlotta get hold of you they’ll blow your head off.” Vincent tells
him, “ I’ll take my chances. “ Dieudonné says, “Keep the cash,
it’s your right, and I’ve earned my half.” As he walks off Vincent
pulls a gun. He tells him, “Give me the cash. I love you like a
brother, but I don’t have any choice.” Dieudonné continues to
protest, but finally says, “Go ahead, shoot.” Vincent can’t do it.
Dieudonné finally gives in, but not happily.
At the apartment Marius is playing with
Claude’s prize souvenir golf ball signed by Tiger Woods, which he
chucks out the window. Vincent enters the apartment, gingerly,
holding out a bag. He calls out, “Don’t shoot, it’s me, the other
guy”. Marius doesn’t understand the resemblance. Carlotta tells
him they’re twins. Vincent tells her, “We aren’t brothers. We’ve
never seen each other before.” Carlotta tells Marius to get the bag
and his gun. Marius has the same problem with the gun sticking in
the holster, and Vincent says, “Can I help you?” While Marius is
opening the bag, Vincent whispers to Claude that he’s got a plan.
“What’s this?” Marius says, taking a cake box out of the bag. “It’s
donuts,” says Vincent. Marius pulls out his trusty knife and pins
Vincent up against a wall. He mumbles something and Vincent asks
Claude, “What did he say?” Claude tells him, “He’ll cut you up in
little pieces.” Vincent tells him that he’d better hurry because
the cops are on their way.
Carlotta is losing her patience and
they go off to get the money, leaving Claude tied to a chair.
Marius takes the money out of the squad car trunk but Carlotta wants
Vincent to go with them in their car. Lucy suddenly arrives and
shouts, “Well Inspector Scum, you’ve been found out Vincent
Papineau.” Carlotta says, “So this is Vincent Papineau.” Lucy draws
a gun and says, “Let’s go to the station.” Vincent tells Carlotta,
“I have to go pay my debt to society.” However, Marius puts a knife
to Vincent’s throat and they tell Lucy to drop her gun, which she
does. Carlotta says, “Let’s go” but Vincent says he won’t.
Meanwhile, on the rooftop opposite, Green is setting up a telescopic
rifle to take a second shot at the person he thinks is Claude.
Marius punches the struggling Vincent in the stomach, and as Vincent
doubles over Green’s bullet hits Carlotta. Marius hurls a knife
towards Green, who panics and falls off the roof into a skip.
Vincent thumps Marius in the groin and makes his getaway with Lucy.
They run down an alley but are cornered as Marius comes limping up,
gun pointing towards them.
Vincent tells Marius to let Lucy go, she hasn’t done anything wrong,
but Marius just smiles and aims his gun directly at her. Vince
shouts “NO” and leaps in front of her, taking the bullet in
the shoulder. Marius laughs and says, “It hurts, doesn’t it.”
That’s when Claude, who has gotten loose, nails Marius where
the sun doesn’t shine, with a hard swing of his putter,
saying, “I told you not to touch my golf ball.” Claude turns to see
Vincent on the ground aiming a gun at him. Claude says, “Gently,
gently.” Vincent fires the gun and we see Carlotta drop down behind
Claude. He shrugs and says to Vincent, “Thanks”. <<Nikita,
anyone?>>
Vincent’s in hospital, handcuffed to the bed. Claude arrives in
uniform with a huge bunch of flowers. He tells Vincent the bouquet
is from everybody at the station… “It’s not everyone who would have
taken a bullet for a colleague.” Vincent tells him thanks, it was
nice to be somebody people admire so much and it felt good. “Yes it
does.” Then Vincent asks, “Listen, when I go to court, could you
tell them that I’m a good guy so the judge won’t be so hard on me?”
Claude tells him to look in the card which contains an official
letter. “They’re dropping all the charges?” “It’s the least we
could do for someone who helped stop a big drug organization getting
established over here and who helped solve my partner’s murder.”
“Yves?” “Yes. They did a ballistic test on the bullet from Green’s
gun. It was the same weapon.”
Claude unlocks Vincent’s handcuffs, and Vincent asks about Lucy.
Claude gives Vincent his wallet back and he takes out his torn
photo, telling Claude it’s his mother and him as a baby. Claude
brings out the other half of the family picture with him and his
father and they are both overwhelmed. As Claude leaves he points to
Vincent’s arm and says, “My watch…”. As Vincent starts to remove it
Claude tells him to keep it. At the door Claude turns and asks if
Vincent knows what happened to the money. “What money?” “The half
million you helped to recover.” “It was in Carlo’s car. Why?” “It’s
disappeared.”
Back
at the station Claude meets Lucy who asks about Vincent. Claude
tells her he’ll be getting out of hospital soon, that he’s not all
that bad and that he’s his brother. Meanwhile, back at the
hospital, Vincent is getting dressed to leave when a hand from
behind helps him put his jacket over his wounded shoulder. He
thinks it’s a nurse, but it’s Dieudonné pointing a gun at him.
“It’s no fun having a gun pointed in your face, is it?” “No, it’s
no fun.” “Where’s my money?” “What do you mean your money – you
gave it to me.” “I gave it to you, now I want it.” “OK, but it’s
disappeared.” “You don’t think you’ll be able to find it?” “No, I
don’t think I’ll be able to find it.” Straightfaced, Dieudonné picks
up a bag and gives it to Vincent. Dieudonné had followed him and
recovered the cash. “By the way,” he says, “There are other ways
of making a woman fall for you besides taking a bullet for her.”
On
leaving the hospital Vincent meets Bob (jean-Guy Bouchard) coming
in with a bag of ice on his privates and a very squeaky voice.
Difficult to make out what he’s saying, but he mentions “a paper
bag”. Vincent says he hopes he’ll get better soon. Bob goes off
sobbing, and Vincent shakes his head muttering, “Poor guy”.
He
then hears a short squad car toot and sees Lucy. “Who are you
really?” She asks. Vincent replies, “I think you saw who I could
be. “A policeman” she asks? He replies, “No, just an ordinary guy
who fell in love with you and I would do anything so that you would
love me back.” “Is that true”? Lucy asks, “It’s true” says
Vincent. Lucy tells him, “You know I swore to uphold the law.” “I
know,” he says. Lucy says, “It’s not that simple.” “I know,” he
says. Then she kisses him and says, “You know if I catch you
breaking the law, even if it’s spitting on the sidewalk, I’m
throwing you in jail and throwing away the key.” Smiling Vincent
says “OK that’s beautiful…that’s very very beautiful”. A bit of
kissing happens here in the universal language. Lucy says, “Come
on., I’ll take you home.” They go to the squad car and Lucy tells
him to get in. Vincent asks her, “Where?” She tells him smiling
smugly, “In front beside me.” And off they drive.
The
End
And
if you’re ever in Montreal and want to visit some C’est pas moi
locations, here’s a few:
|
Police station |
rue Pierre-de-Coubertin, at the corner of rue Pierre-Tétreault |
|
Claude’s house |
2251 rue Aird, apt. 104 (corner Rouen)
|
|
Inspector Green’s roof |
2260 Aird |
|
Vincent’s house |
1629 rue Chambly (between La Fontaine and Adam)
|
|
Carlotta’s house |
8790 Marconi, St-Leonard |
|
Hospital |
Institut Universitaire de Gériatrie de Montréal 4565 Chemin
Queen-Mary (end of Cedar) |
|
Bar where Roy/Lucie drink |
Le Belmont 4483 St-Laurent Blvd (corner Mt Royal E) |
|
Pawn shop |
ABC Camera Pro 113 Mont-Royal west |
|
Asselin rooftop shoot-out |
5500 rue St-Hubert |
|
Church |
Rue Centre between Island and Laprarie |
